PRE-MARITAL SEX – NOT A BIG DEAL?

Rev. Benedict Eghan

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Song of Solomon 2:7

"Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!“ But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave.” Proverbs 9:17&18

Premarital sex involves any kind of sexual contact prior to entering into a legal marriage relationship. When God brought Adam and Eve together in marriage, He established the “one flesh” relationship. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man will leave his family, join to his wife, and become “one flesh” with her. "Have you not read," says Jesus, "that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?'" (Matthew 19:4-5; quoting from Genesis 1:27, 2:24). In this passage Scripture clearly states that sex is for marriage and marriage is for sex. That's because sex is not just a matter of casual recreation. It's not just a pleasurable way of expressing mutual love. It's a question of two people becoming one flesh.

Unfortunately sex as sacred as it is, in our time has become a commodity on the market – sold cheaply in magazines, newspaper, television shows, movies, and more predominantly on the internet (social media inclusive). It is the point of almost all the secular music and many adverts. This decadence is guided by the philosophy of this age – “if it feels good, do it; for it is your life”. This has contributed to the prevalence of what many have comfortably termed as casual sex.

Deeply reflecting on Genesis 2:24 does indicate that, there is no such thing as “casual” sex, because of the depth of intimacy involved in the sexual relationship. Let’s consider this analogy I picked from Got Questions Ministries on their site, www.gotquestions.org/premarital-sex.html:

“If we take a sticky note and attach it to a piece of paper, it will adhere. If we remove it, it will leave behind a small amount of residue; the longer it remains, the more residue is left. If we take that note and stick it to several places repeatedly, it will leave residue everywhere we stick it, and it will eventually lose its ability to adhere to anything. This is much like what happens to us when we engage in “casual” sex. Each time we leave a sexual relationship, we leave a part of ourselves behind. The longer the relationship has gone on, the more we leave behind, and the more we lose of ourselves. As we go from partner to partner, we continue to lose a tiny bit of ourselves each time, and eventually we may lose our ability to form a lasting sexual relationship at all. The sexual relationship is so strong and so intimate that we cannot enter into it casually, no matter how easy it might seem.”

Premarital sex wounds the sanctity of a heart and if left untreated, can scar a marriage for a lifetime.

By: Rev. Benedict Eghan

The Christian Leader and the Family (II)

Ref: 1 Samuel 8:4-5

Rev. Benedict Eghan

I continue with my series on the Christian Leader and the family with reference to the book of 1 Samuel. 1Samuel Chapter Eight introduces us into a new era in the history of Israel – the period under kingship. One of the reasons that necessitated the quest for a king was the fact that, the people accused Samuel’s sons as not walking in the ways of their father. 

1 Sam. 8:4-5

Then all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah, and said to him, "Look, you are old, and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now make us a king to judge us like all the nations."

As an old man, Samuel appointed his sons to be judges over Israel in his place. But they turned out to be corrupt, much like Eli’s sons (2:12). We don’t know why Samuel’s sons went wrong, but we know that Eli was held responsible for his own sons’ corruption. Probably, in the case of Samuel, he had played his part very well.

However, the attitude of the children was not without effect on the land. It paved a way for the people of Israel to “rebel” against God as their true king. It must however be established that the Israelites’ quest for a king had other motivational factors which included fear – Chpt. 12:9-12.

“And when they forgot the Lord their God, He sold them into the hand of Sisera, commander of the army of Hazor, into the hand of the Philistines, and into the hand of the king of Moab; and they fought against them. Then they cried out to the Lord, and said, 'We have sinned, because we have forsaken the Lord and served the Baals and Ashtoreths; but now deliver us from the hand of our enemies, and we will serve You.' And the Lord sent Jerubbaal, Bedan, Jephthah, and Samuel, and delivered you out of the hand of your enemies on every side; and you dwelt in safety. And when you saw that Nahash king of the Ammonites came against you, you said to me, 'No, but a king shall reign over us,' when the Lord your God was your king”. 

By: Rev. Benedict Eghan

 

The Chrsitian Leader and the Family I

Ref: 1 Samuel 1:1-8

The book of 1Samuel opens with reference to a man by name Elkanah. Two things can be noted in the first chapter of the book regarding Elkanah and his family.

Rev. Benedict Eghan

1.    Elkanah had the spiritual health of the family at heart; and he indeed ensured that, he played his role very well in this regard. The tabernacle was located at Shiloh, the religious centre of the entire nation (Joshua 18:1). Three times in a year, all Israelites men were required to attend a religious festival held at the tabernacle (Deut. 16:16). This pilgrimage by Elkanah and his family was likely to be one of such festivals.  Elkanah ensured that he satisfied this requirement with his entire family.

Sometimes as Christian leaders, we may be tempted to ignore the role we are to play in the spiritual development of our family members. We assume they know it all. It is required that we consciously engage our families in the things of God such as morning devotions, bible studies and periodic “waiting” moments. The family that prays together stays together.

2.    Despite his efforts to build on the spirituality of the family, there existed a threat to the family’s happiness. The coming in of Peninnah was a great threat to the joy and love Ekanah shared with his wife Hannah. Jewish Rabbis state that Hannah was Elkanah’s first wife; and after they had been married for ten years without children, he took Peninnah as a second wife. The Mishnah ordains that when a couple has been married for ten years without bringing any children into the world, the husband is required to take a second (or additional) wife in order to fulfil the commandment to be fruitful and multiply. The Midrash also explains that Elkanah was compelled to marry Peninnah because of Hannah’s barrenness, which explains his preference for Hannah, his first wife.

Though Elkanah wanted children, he committed himself by bringing in Peninnah. The love, joy, peace, and harmony that had existed in the family was short-changed with the coming in of Peninnah. If only he had been a bit more patient, he would have forever saved the joy of the family.

Taking a clue from Elkanah’s case, it is important for us to avoid anything that could be a threat to the family’s joy and happiness. This is because; any such occurrence will have its effects on our ministry or our spiritual health.  These effects may include:

·         inconsistency in one’s decisions and proclamations as a result of an unstable mindset; and

·         inability to receive from the Lord – the peace and joy to go into the Lord’s presence may be missing out due to the troubles at hand.

In effect, in as much as we seek to work on the spirituality of the family, we must also ensure that our actions and inactions do not serve as vehicles for Satan’s oriented “pit-falls” in the family; for a destabilised family can lead to a destabilised ministry. 

By: Ps. Benedict Eghan

Be Discerning

It is important to note that attractive leaders are not always led by God. New ideas or revelations from inspiring people may sound good, but we must judge them whether or not they are consistent with God's Word. When people claim to speak for God, check them on these areas:
1. Are they telling the truth?
2. Is their focus on God?
3. Are their words consistent with what you already know to be true?
Some people speak the truth while directing you to God, but others speak pursuasively while directing you to themselves. it is even possible to say the right words and still lead people in the wrong direction. God is not against new ideas, but He is for discernment. When one hears of a new idea/revelation, he or she shd examine it carefully before getting so excited; for false prophets are still around.

Positioned in His Will

"We never know where the will of God will of God will take us or what experiences it will bring us. But the passion of our lives must always be to stay in the centre of God's will.When we do, we discover we do not need to attempt to manipulate things, make things happen, orchestrate circumstances, or force things to happen as a result of our own efforts"
T. W Wilson

Arriving at Your Promised Land - the condition of your heart matters

Rev. Benedict Eghan

Arriving at your “promised land” (earthly destiny) is as important as the condition of your heart upon arriving. Considering the Israelites, they spent 40 years on a journey that could have lasted 11 days (Deuteronomy 1:2). We come to realize that, it was not necessarily distance that stood between them and the Promised Land but rather the condition of their hearts. God’s purpose for them was deeper than simply transporting a huge group of people to a new land without them appreciating who this God is, in their lives. He had to prepare them to live in obedience to Him once they arrived. What good was the Promised Land if the Israelites were just as wicked as the nations already living there. Many Christians get to positions of influence in society and they seem to forget about their devotion to God. They make no positive impact in the environment they find themselves, but rather drift far away from God. Before you get to your promised land, God in His own wisdom may cause you to face pain, discouragement and many kinds of difficulties. However, in such times do remember that God is in such moments preparing you to live in service and devotion to Him. Is your heart right with Him?

By: Rev. Benedict Eghan

The New Nature

When Jesus resurrected, as the Bible puts it, He resurrected with a new body (the glorious body); and for us who have been baptized in Him, we both share in His death and resurrection which results in a newness of life (Rom. 6:1-4). Therefore, our new man or nature is created after the image of Christ; who is the express nature of the God (Heb. 1:3).  So to know the nature of our new man which comes as a result of our new birth, we must seek to know the nature of our God.