PRE-MARITAL SEX – NOT A BIG DEAL?

Rev. Benedict Eghan

“Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” Song of Solomon 2:7

"Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!“ But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave.” Proverbs 9:17&18

Premarital sex involves any kind of sexual contact prior to entering into a legal marriage relationship. When God brought Adam and Eve together in marriage, He established the “one flesh” relationship. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man will leave his family, join to his wife, and become “one flesh” with her. "Have you not read," says Jesus, "that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?'" (Matthew 19:4-5; quoting from Genesis 1:27, 2:24). In this passage Scripture clearly states that sex is for marriage and marriage is for sex. That's because sex is not just a matter of casual recreation. It's not just a pleasurable way of expressing mutual love. It's a question of two people becoming one flesh.

Unfortunately sex as sacred as it is, in our time has become a commodity on the market – sold cheaply in magazines, newspaper, television shows, movies, and more predominantly on the internet (social media inclusive). It is the point of almost all the secular music and many adverts. This decadence is guided by the philosophy of this age – “if it feels good, do it; for it is your life”. This has contributed to the prevalence of what many have comfortably termed as casual sex.

Deeply reflecting on Genesis 2:24 does indicate that, there is no such thing as “casual” sex, because of the depth of intimacy involved in the sexual relationship. Let’s consider this analogy I picked from Got Questions Ministries on their site, www.gotquestions.org/premarital-sex.html:

“If we take a sticky note and attach it to a piece of paper, it will adhere. If we remove it, it will leave behind a small amount of residue; the longer it remains, the more residue is left. If we take that note and stick it to several places repeatedly, it will leave residue everywhere we stick it, and it will eventually lose its ability to adhere to anything. This is much like what happens to us when we engage in “casual” sex. Each time we leave a sexual relationship, we leave a part of ourselves behind. The longer the relationship has gone on, the more we leave behind, and the more we lose of ourselves. As we go from partner to partner, we continue to lose a tiny bit of ourselves each time, and eventually we may lose our ability to form a lasting sexual relationship at all. The sexual relationship is so strong and so intimate that we cannot enter into it casually, no matter how easy it might seem.”

Premarital sex wounds the sanctity of a heart and if left untreated, can scar a marriage for a lifetime.

By: Rev. Benedict Eghan