“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a
man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own
body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in
you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at
a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Cor 6:18-20 NIV)
Sex is a good thing because
it was created by God, but as we discussed in the part one of this series, it
is only ideal within the confines of marriage. God did create sex to be
beautiful and enjoyable expression of love, but only between a man and a wife
(Genesis 2:24; Proverbs. 5:18-19, 1 Corinthians 7:2&3).
In his book Money, Sex and
Power, Richard Foster spelt out that sexual intercourse involves something far
more than just the physical, more than even the emotions and psyche. It touches
deep into the spirit of each person and produces a profound union that the
bible calls it one flesh. To this effect, sexual intercourse is a
life-uniting act. Genital sex outside marriage is wrong because unmarried
people thereby engage in a life-uniting act without a life-uniting intent. Intercourse signs and seals a life-union; and
life union means marriage.
As a continuation to my first article on pre-marital sex, I would be
addressing two other implications that come with pre-marital sex or sex outside
the confines of marriage.
Implications
on self worth:
Consider
how premarital sex can affect people’s self worth in a statement put up by one
high school girl:
“I am sixteen and have already lost my virginity. I truly regret that my first time was with a guy that I didn’t care that much about. Since that first night he expects sex on every date. When I don’t feel like it, we end up in an argument. I don’t think this guy is in love with me, and I know deep down that I am not in love with him either. This makes me feel cheap. I realize now that this is a very big step in a girl’s life. After you have done it, things are never the same. It changes everything.”1
“I am sixteen and have already lost my virginity. I truly regret that my first time was with a guy that I didn’t care that much about. Since that first night he expects sex on every date. When I don’t feel like it, we end up in an argument. I don’t think this guy is in love with me, and I know deep down that I am not in love with him either. This makes me feel cheap. I realize now that this is a very big step in a girl’s life. After you have done it, things are never the same. It changes everything.”1
Another
young person said,
“I slept with many, many people trying to find love, to find self-worth. And the more people I slept with, the less self-worth I had.”2
“I slept with many, many people trying to find love, to find self-worth. And the more people I slept with, the less self-worth I had.”2
Engaging
in pre-marital sex with a number of guys gives a young promising lady a new
label – “easy catch”, “loose girl”, “sure bet” etc. Ironically, such labels are
given by the same guys who take advantage of these young ladies. They are thus
in such circumstances denied of the dignity that they are entitled to. Sadly, I
have personally met beautiful young ladies who have boldly confessed to me
that, “they were
not worth any man”; simply because they felt overly used by different men.
Unfortunately, this is the sad situation of many young girls.
Sometimes
the loss of self-esteem after uncommitted sex can also lead a person into
further casual sex, leading to further loss of self-esteem in an oppressive
cycle from which it may be hard to break free.
Emotional
Implications:
Sexual
intimacy has potentially powerful emotional consequences. These emotional side
effects of premarital sex are also very damaging. Staying away from pre-marital
sex renders one to be emotionally healthier. This has got to do with baggage or
what I call emotional filth that come with past sexual expereinces. We can
easily carry this filth into our marriage which may include memories from
the past, emotional scars and unwanted mental images which can go to the
extent of defiling our thoughts and making the marriage bed less pure.
Certainly, God can forgive the past, but that doesn’t mean we are free from the
baggage that can linger in our minds.
It
is also a well established fact, that one of the most common consequences of
pre-marital sex is depression. Sex outside of
marriage almost always ends with a broken heart. It is of a truth, that once
one experiences a “broken heart”, his or her outlook on life and love changes.
Many instead of love are filled with bitterness because of past sexual
experiences. The bible tells us to, “guard our hearts with all diligence
for out of it flow the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23) When we fail to guard
our hearts we open ourselves to be deeply wounded by those who are only
interested in their own sexual pleasure.
Unfortunately,
many young women search for meaning only in relationships with guys, instead of
with God. It is not uncommon for a girl to have sex in order to make a guy like
her more or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards
because she is afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an
emotional divorce takes place. A person’s heart is not made to be that close to
a person and then separated.
It
always pays to wait.
By:
Rev. Benedict Eghan
References:
1Thomas Lickona, “Sex, Love, and Character: It’s
Our Decision” (address given to assembly of students at Seton Catholic High
School, Binghamton, N.Y., January 8, 1999), 10.
2All About Cohabiting Before Marriage, “Myths
About Cohabitation,” http://www.leaderu.com/critical/cohabitation-myths.html.
3A. B. Moscicki, et al., “Differences in
Biologic Maturation, Sexual Behavior, and Sexually Transmitted Disease Between
Adolescents with and without Cervical Intraepithelial Neoplasia,” Journal
of Pediatrics 115:3 (September 1989), 487–493; M. L. Shew, et al.
Very easy to comprehend and very logical.
ReplyDeleteThe life stories make it relatable. God bless you